You're stock in the past and you even don't want to move your feet forward?
You wanted to try and forget the past but you can't, because of people around you?
Yes. You are on the right page, we are on the same page. Before I write this Tips in moving on, I make sure that I experience all that difficult process first, and I come up with this healthy tips, and I hope it'll help you.
Before anything else, let me tell first my past failures then let us see if you can relate.
My first boyfriend, Jay (not real name) was once my world. We became in-relationship in February 2009 and the relationship went well until 2012. He worked somewhere and met someone and broke-up with me on October 2012. After a month and half, he said he just realized that his love for me get even better. Weak and really-under-his-spell, we brought back the relationship and last for a year and 4months. Before I broke up with him on March 2014, I was working then in a call center company. I agree we cannot refrain ourselves from meeting new friends, or new lovers. One connected issue were being unfaithful and became unaware of my partner's feeling. Maybe at some point I thought that maybe that was the right thing to do for him to experience the same pain I had on 2012, but I've realized revenge is really not a good thing to do.
I met Jom (not real name) and he courted me for almost 5months when I'm still in relationship with Jay. I know its really my fault and I will not fall against you. You cannot blame me because I thought I found my dream guy. Jay is much like of easy-go-lucky guy, likes playing childish computer games, not a family guy, sweet but you need to tell him what he should do to make you happy, and there's some glitch in my mind that 'maybe I don't have a future with him'. While Jom is much like of funny, easy to go with, sweet personally, he like making you happy, he will go wherever you will go, he like saying 'you're beautiful', likes looking at your face and eyes, much like sincere, and he will tell you whatever feeling he have for you. I made a comparison and all I thought was I found the guy who will make me happy. On April 2014, I made a decision of leaving Jay and be with Jom since my friends were also happy with my current guy. We like eating at restaurants, and he like doing adventures. He made my friends as his second brothers and sisters and get in touch with my family. I thought everything was fine. I was definitely sad because I still miss Jay but he's making my everyday to forget everything, until he decide, on May 18, to end our relationship. We were just almost a month and his done with me. He tried courting again his 4year-ex and I think they are together again after just weeks of our break up.
I'm still not over with my 5year-relationship, who courted someone else after just a month of our break up and my current guy leave me and went back to his beautiful ex. WHATDAFUDGE! If you're at my feet, you will never wanted to step forward because you were stock in some situation you don't want to be with.
At my first two months, I was really depressed. There's a point wherein my family need to get a counselor or stress management doctors just to increase my self confidence. My father is always joking "try to move on, don't drown yourself in your bad past", then I realized why am I doing this to myself? F*CK. I should grow. I should let my wings spread wide (*_*) and leave those crazy past and start living the life I wanted. You get me? I hope you did.
"I don't want anybody, I still want my ex"
NOPE. Stop thinking that way. They leave you, you should leave them too. If they can't stay in your life just because you are not perfect, damn them, they just prove they are crazy bees who let go of unbosomed flower (and its you). Instead of thinking about your ex, make some tiny goals that you want to accomplish in just small period of time. What you like to do? You want to paint things? or to travel? or to learn how to cook? Make sure that your goal is standing in one straight line. If you think of one thing, accomplish it first before jumping to another goal. Make it one at a time.
(What I did? I planned to go to Boracay. Luckily, it happened last August 29 with some friends and now we're planning to go to Puerto Princesa, Palawan at the end of January 2015)
Easiest way to forget your ex?
Most of your friends may tell you to delete his number, his pictures, unfriend him to Facebook, or never communicate at all. When I tried checking some tips online, I found out that most of bloggers are suggesting to their readers the same things. And because I'm far-way unique, I recommend you to do the opposite. Never delete his pictures, stay on the line, don't forget him. You just need to forget all the bad things happened in the past but do not forget the person. You once choose him and become happy. Don't take the blame to the pictures. For me, its quite effective because you are creating a common scenarios everyday that after many months, you will realized you already forget about it. If you want to talk about him, tell your friends. Never stop yourself from releasing unhealthy feeling. And advise your friend to tap you at the back or hug you tight if that tear is about to fall.
You want to cry?
Cry it out loud. Don't stop yourself. Scientifically speaking, crying is one way of the body to release bad elements inside it. Crying will make you feel better. But always remember that crying will all the things you will do. Cry at least once a day if that pain is still with you, or once a month if you are getting better now. You still need to cry. That's the secret of our body that in we-don't-know reason, we are feeing better after doing it.
(I'm not crying here :D its just the camera's flash)
Surrounded by negative-thinking friends?
URGGG.. I hate them so much. Don't let yourself be surround with negative thinkers. I have a lot of true friends who are giving me negative thoughts that sometime the reason why I need to go back to bed just to cry. Be friend with good listeners who just tend to listen and kiss you at your forehead afterwards. Or if these people never existed in your life, try to be friend with your bible, or with your pet cat.
(meet my friends WAHAHAHA)
Appreciate things around you.
This is my favorite tip. I have read a blog post from a crazy blogger but he really helped me a lot. He said I should appreciate things around me. Have time to look at the sky, its beautiful. Wait for the sunshine and sunset. If its raining, feel the cold of the winter. If its just an ordinary day, appreciate combing your hair or doing nothing. Trees are beautiful, look at them sincerely. Don't look at your phone and wait for your ex messages, BECAUSE IT WILL NOT HAPPEN ANYMORE. Feel the music. Sip a light volume of cigar. Find happiness in walking to a free space. Watch funny movies of Jonah Hill. Decorate your house. Take a time going to mall and do some window shopping. Play computer games. Write for your blog. Share happy things with your diary. Save money. Appreciate things that are just ordinary for your everyday. If you will just feed what I'm saying, you will enjoy staring at the wall like what I used to do.
( I like going to Bulacan. They have a lot of trees and animals there. Then met my pet, Meeeyaw, Jom's Christmas gift hahahaha)
Your friends maybe "Make him regret he leave you"
but I will be "Nothing will change. Stay who you are"
Are you a rocker? you like wearing ragged pants and Tshirts? Be it. You don't need to change yourself just because you want them to regret something. They leave you because its not working anymore, and its nothing to do with how you dress yourself or you are too oily to be with, anymore. At the first place, they accept you who you are when they tried courting you. Now its your time to accept yourself. Or if you still insist that you want to change emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Just go with it. But make sure that you are doing that not for somebody else but because you want to grow and see yourself change a bit.
MOVING ON IS A PROCESS. ENJOY IT AND YOU WILL REALIZE MOVING FORWARD IS NOT THAT HARD