Disadvantages of Friends with Benefits

Hey, note. This blog content is not against with anyone who's on same situation. This article is for those who themselves find it appropriate on their situation but feel free to write your comments and reactions.

What are disadvantage of having a 'sex buddy' or that friend you found great at bed? I am not the right person you are looking for. I, myself, did not encounter this situation but I would like to share my thoughts about it.

I have a friend, no a best friend that I considered 'the life of my weekend'. She's adorable. We always have little out-of-town every Saturdays and Sundays. We shared the same mind, the same thoughts, had the same way of thinking and I almost shared all the things happened in my life, from smallest to biggest, and she shared the same things. But what I'd found out was more of what I could imagine she was capable of. Since we're best friends, I already gave her some advises, great advises. At the end, she found falling for the guy.

She was great in our college class before but she was bullied by some of my colleague. She was that friend that maybe all of us need to heal, a friend for real. But I stated "was" because she have changed the last time I check her.

[Disadvantages of friends with benefits]

1. They are friends before. I hooked up with some high school friends and let him be friends with my college bestfriend for me to set a big circle of friends. They become friends, then close friends, then special friends. I have nothing against it until I found out that they're having some immature actions. The girl and the guy thinks I will not understand it, so they hide their little secrets. Hugmates, is what I called them. They become separated to me. I was jealous because I thought we are 3bestfriends. I never had an idea that there is more to that, that everytime I was out of the house, they're hugging each other. Pew! Nothing wrong with that, except if you find it unappropriate because you are "bestfriends". Being on this relationship only can put you on lot of thinking "what if others find out?" "Should I tell it to my friends? My family?"

2. Most of the times, girls are the one who's falling first. Because you are giving the guy the idea that its okay for you both to have intimate connection, you're also giving them impressions that its oksy to go beyond the limit. You will not be on 'foreplay' forever. You're job is the only job without promotion, but on your friends-with-benefit days, hugging will become intimate hugging. Kiss on the cheeks will become like-doing-a-body-shot-when-you-are-too-drunk. You will become comportable sleeping in the same bed. Afterwards, you will find it fantastic to have sex with your bestfriend.

3. Maybe the guy is a superhero and he can save all the sperms from pinning on your eggs, but the worst part is what if the guy is not a superhero? Most of the teens are being manipulated by the people around them. That having sex with someone you just know for a short time (in other words, your 'friend') is okay that's why lot of our teens are engaged to early pregnancy.

4. Like other relationship, the time will come that you no longer excites him. This is not forever. Maybe you can put it on the next level, or just end it even without notice.

5. You are not in relationship, just sex buddies. Do you deserve to be called a "sex partner" that he can't even say I love you on his meaniest approach? Yap, you are important, but not important just like those gkrls he used to loved.

6. Why settle for less if you deserve more? You are a woman. The braviest human kind. You can lean on your own shoulders without help of any guy. You are greater than what you think you are. Think over your standard. You don't deserve to be treated any less. If you found your sex partner somewhere, there're surely guy out there whos more willing to offer you his soul than body, his energy and time without having condition of you giving something in return. You mighrt not found him yet, but you still have almost fine 20 years of your life to wait for someone who can bring you in the great religion's altar. Its up to you.

Tips in Moving on

Problem with moving on?
You're stock in the past and you even don't want to move your feet forward?
You wanted to try and forget the past but you can't, because of people around you?

Yes. You are on the right page, we are on the same page. Before I write this Tips in moving on, I make sure that I experience all that difficult process first, and I come up with this healthy tips, and I hope it'll help you.

Before anything else, let me tell first my past failures then let us see if you can relate.
My first boyfriend, Jay (not real name) was once my world. We became in-relationship in February 2009 and the relationship went well until 2012. He worked somewhere and met someone and broke-up with me on October 2012. After a month and half, he said he just realized that his love for me get even better. Weak and really-under-his-spell, we brought back the relationship and last for a year and 4months. Before I broke up with him on March 2014, I was working then in a call center company. I agree we cannot refrain ourselves from meeting new friends, or new lovers. One connected issue were being unfaithful and became unaware of my partner's feeling. Maybe at some point I thought that maybe that was the right thing to do for him to experience the same pain I had on 2012, but I've realized revenge is really not a good thing to do.

I met Jom (not real name) and he courted me for almost 5months when I'm still in relationship with Jay. I know its really my fault and I will not fall against you. You cannot blame me because I thought I found my dream guy. Jay is much like of easy-go-lucky guy, likes playing childish computer games, not a family guy, sweet but you need to tell him what he should do to make you happy, and there's some glitch in my mind that 'maybe I don't have a future with him'. While Jom is much like of funny, easy to go with, sweet personally, he like making you happy, he will go wherever you will go, he like saying 'you're beautiful', likes looking at your face and eyes, much like sincere, and he will tell you whatever feeling he have for you. I made a comparison and all I thought was I found the guy who will make me happy. On April 2014, I made a decision of leaving Jay and be with Jom since my friends were also happy with my current guy. We like eating at restaurants, and he like doing adventures. He made my friends as his second brothers and sisters and get in touch with my family. I thought everything was fine. I was definitely sad because I still miss Jay but he's making my everyday to forget everything, until he decide, on May 18, to end our relationship. We were just almost a month and his done with me. He tried courting again his 4year-ex and I think they are together again after just weeks of our break up.

I'm still not over with my 5year-relationship, who courted someone else after just a month of our break up and my current guy leave me and went back to his beautiful ex. WHATDAFUDGE! If you're at my feet, you will never wanted to step forward because you were stock in some situation you don't want to be with.

At my first two months, I was really depressed. There's a point wherein my family need to get a counselor or stress management doctors just to increase my self confidence. My father is always joking "try to move on, don't drown yourself in your bad past", then I realized why am I doing this to myself? F*CK. I should grow. I should let my wings spread wide (*_*) and leave those crazy past and start living the life I wanted. You get me? I hope you did.

"I don't want anybody, I still want my ex"
NOPE. Stop thinking that way. They leave you, you should leave them too. If they can't stay in your life just because you are not perfect, damn them, they just prove they are crazy bees who let go of unbosomed flower (and its you). Instead of thinking about your ex, make some tiny goals that you want to accomplish in just small period of time. What you like to do? You want to paint things? or to travel? or to learn how to cook? Make sure that your goal is standing in one straight line. If you think of one thing, accomplish it first before jumping to another goal. Make it one at a time.





(What I did? I planned to go to Boracay. Luckily, it happened last August 29 with some friends and now we're planning to go to Puerto Princesa, Palawan at the end of January 2015) 


Easiest way to forget your ex?
Most of your friends may tell you to delete his number, his pictures, unfriend him to Facebook, or never communicate at all. When I tried checking some tips online, I found out that most of bloggers are suggesting to their readers the same things. And because I'm far-way unique, I recommend you to do the opposite. Never delete his pictures, stay on the line, don't forget him. You just need to forget all the bad things happened in the past but do not forget the person. You once choose him and become happy. Don't take the blame to the pictures. For me, its quite effective because you are creating a common scenarios everyday that after many months, you will realized you already forget about it. If you want to talk about him, tell your friends. Never stop yourself from releasing unhealthy feeling. And advise your friend to tap you at the back or hug you tight if that tear is about to fall.


You want to cry?
Cry it out loud. Don't stop yourself. Scientifically speaking, crying is one way of the body to release bad elements inside it. Crying will make you feel better. But always remember that crying will all the things you will do. Cry at least once a day if that pain is still with you, or once a month if you are getting better now. You still need to cry. That's the secret of our body that in we-don't-know reason, we are feeing better after doing it.


(I'm not crying here :D its just the camera's flash)


Surrounded by negative-thinking friends?
URGGG.. I hate them so much. Don't let yourself be surround with negative thinkers. I have a lot of true friends who are giving me negative thoughts that sometime the reason why I need to go back to bed just to cry. Be friend with good listeners who just tend to listen and kiss you at your forehead afterwards. Or if these people never existed in your life, try to be friend with your bible, or with your pet cat.


 

(meet my friends WAHAHAHA)

Appreciate things around you.
This is my favorite tip. I have read a blog post from a crazy blogger but he really helped me a lot. He said I should appreciate things around me. Have time to look at the sky, its beautiful. Wait for the sunshine and sunset. If its raining, feel the cold of the winter. If its just an ordinary day, appreciate combing your hair or doing nothing. Trees are beautiful, look at them sincerely. Don't look at your phone and wait for your ex messages, BECAUSE IT WILL NOT HAPPEN ANYMORE. Feel the music. Sip a light volume of cigar. Find happiness in walking to a free space. Watch funny movies of Jonah Hill. Decorate your house. Take a time going to mall and do some window shopping. Play computer games. Write for your blog. Share happy things with your diary. Save money. Appreciate things that are just ordinary for your everyday. If you will just feed what I'm saying, you will enjoy staring at the wall like what I used to do.



( I like going to Bulacan. They have a lot of trees and animals there. Then met my pet, Meeeyaw, Jom's Christmas gift hahahaha)


Be yourself.
Your friends maybe "Make him regret he leave you"
but I will be "Nothing will change. Stay who you are"
Are you a rocker? you like wearing ragged pants and Tshirts? Be it. You don't need to change yourself just because you want them to regret something. They leave you because its not working anymore, and its nothing to do with how you dress yourself or you are too oily to be with, anymore. At the first place, they accept you who you are when they tried courting you. Now its your time to accept yourself. Or if you still insist that you want to change emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Just go with it. But make sure that you are doing that not for somebody else but because you want to grow and see yourself change a bit.



MOVING ON IS A PROCESS. ENJOY IT AND YOU WILL REALIZE MOVING FORWARD IS NOT THAT HARD





Dolcelatte: Home of great sweet treats

Hi guys. I'm really not onto world of sweets but I want to share this unique experience we had when we try our newly found Cafe and fine-dine restaurant at Quezon Avenue.

Dolcelatte, as introduced by our workmate Fehm, is really one of the great restaurant I've tried. Dolcelatte is located at Quezon Avenue near MRT station (just beside the Hi-Top grocery store). Build with great architecture design, Dolcelatte strengthen their Mediterranean themed resto with great ambiance and place. And what else can you ask for if you already have the whole package, great place, fashioned ambiance and fantastic foods. Foods are pricey but worth it.

Upon our first visit, we don't have extra money to try the house of croughnuts but we promised ourselves to come back and try their mouth-watering and eye-catching croughnuts. After 15days, commitment was kept and the manager entertained us with full grace. Together with Fehm, Anne and Ruby, here's some sample of their great foods.







Croughnuts = P120 each for double doughnuts

Berry Smoothies = P160 (left)
Frap = P115 (right)


Seafood Spaghetti = P545 good for twin sharing
(I don't know the name of this spag, we just ordered their best sellers)


Dolcelatte Pizza (don't know specific name) = P565



MY TRAVEL AND FOOD BUDDIES
Fehm and the author

left picture: Fehm, Anne and author

Fehm. Author. Anne


Try and visit their website: http://dolcelatte.ph/




Author's Ultimate Throwback

Thesis judgment day batch 2


Successful batch 2 passed Thesis Presentation


Ruby, Me, Ashley and Stephanie. 
Our second year college days


High school days. First EMO picture :P


at front of Ninoy Aquino Library and Learning Resources
Jom, me, Ashley, Christina, Mae, Jobelle, Ruby and Tina
(left to right)


Sikat Awards Thinkerbelles pictorial
Stephanie, Jayen, Ashley, Ruby, me, Molly, Christina, Mae and Tina
(left to right starting with the lady in white and sky blue dress)


My 18th birthday together with Ruby.


Filipino Seminar, second year college with Christina, Ashley and Ruby


Sikat Awards 2013 at PUP Bulwagang Balagtas
Alex, Stephanie, Jayen, Ashley, Ruby, me, Molly, Christina, Mae and Tina
(left to right)


First year college days with Ashley


Thesismates Alex and Ruby


Unlimited Lugaw, Teresa Manila


Jayen's treat at her residence


With Alex and Mae after thesis judgment day


BAHAGHARI Seminar at Wawa, Rizal


Ashley's 18th birthday at Jollibee SM Sta. Mesa


OJT Application at PRC, Inc with Ashley and Molly


Jayen's place at Rizal, just playing in the backyard :)


After graduation day, we returned our graduation dress


With Justin "Papa Buboy of Barangay LS" Candado
2013


Couple phone with my best buddy Ruby


Forth year high school DotA friends


me after passing the thesis judgment day


3D experience with Ashley and Ruby, care of Magic Radio
Movie: Final Destination 5


Interview with Eboy of Biggest Loser for our Investigative Documentation 'Obesity'


Ilog Pasig Run 2012 with Jobelle, Ashley and Christina


Group picture during graduation day


Ilog Pasig Run 2012
Ashley, me, Jobelle and Ruby, Jayen


First year college days with Jheany


First year college days with Jheany and Ruby


Chikboy experience with my BJourn 1N


Le Vouge 2012
Jonathan at the back


Moviestar OJT days with Ms. Meanne


First year college days with Ruby, Bianca, Precious and Andrea


Le Vouge 2012
The fierce ramp


2013. At PUP Little Intramuros


Le Vouge 2012
The fierce ramp with Jobelle at the back


AVP photo-shoot with Charnie, Ashley, Mae and Naga


Thinkerbelles Christmas Party 2011


After Sikat Awards, treats with Precious and Jheany


Dream Land Resort 2011 with my sis Catt and niece Alesana




Coca-Cola Concert ng Bayan 2012

interview with Raffy Tan of Biggest Loser at Metafit Program


News Cast Team (BJourn 1N)


Sikat Awards selfies with Ruby


Thinkerbelles at Sikat Awards


Banana Boat event at Quezon City Memorial Circle with Sir Dan, and Sir Rusdee


OJT days at Moviestar with Molly and Mae


Skiat Award with Tina, Molly, Mae and Ashley


UP Fair 2012 with Ruby, Bernadeth, Zhed, Clarck and Ladia


Bulacan days 2013


Graduation pic *sad face :)


Me in Banana Boat event at Quezon City Memorial Circle
(event held by PRC, Inc)


Jeds Island Resort on 2012 with Dark Side [DS] 
(Jay Binuya, Marvine Panigbatan, Michael Busa, Marjon Blauta, Esmani, RonJohn Valencia and Anthony Olfato)


Thinkerbells at PUP-COC Chariperson's office
with Raja Moron, Jayen San Diego, Alexandra Leal, Mae Brimon, Christina Alpad and Ashley Lucas


After graduation picture with Christina Bustarde, Molly Pineda and Ruby Nepomucino


Dark Side [DS] last get together with me, 
with Caren Siega, Sheralyn Busa, Marjon Blauta, Kimberly and Marjon's girl friend


Ruby Nepomucino while waiting beside PUP Gymnasium,
the day before graduation on 2013


Christina Bustarde while waiting beside PUP Gymnasium,
the day before graduation on 2013


Zhed Tanjista's 20th birthday. Birthday's theme - acoustic night
with bestfriend Ruby Nepomucino and Clarck Samonte


Get-together after graduation at Molly Pineda's 20th birthday
at Montalban Rizal with Ruby Nepomucino


Zhed Tanjista's 20th birthday. Birthday's theme - acoustic night


Pciture with Elle Valdez at Mike Royo's creepy place
(at Mapayapa Village 3)


Children park inside Mapayapa Village 3 at Fairview Quezon City with Eunice Vistal and Joana Barcelon
Photo credit to Earl Hagos.


Trip to San Ildefonso Bulacan on 2013. This is my best-friend's aunt farm


California Telemarketing, Inc (currently Collective Solutions) 
Sport Fest with Batch2 Team Lead Joy Deniva